Yugioh Cards Compares To Pokemon Jeremy Parkes EYE 10.10.02

Featuring the voices of Veronica Taylor, Maddie Blaustein. Written by Hideki Sonoda. Directed by Satoshi Tajiri. (PG) 79 min. Opens Oct 11.

Pokémon. Like forever? God, let's hope not. The fourth instalment of the Nintendo-based franchise starts off some 40 years ago as a Pokémon called Celebi escapes the corrupt clutches of a mean ol' hunter by magically transporting itself into the present time. From then on, it's one flat, evil-versus-good situation after another.

The film's biggest mistake is that it tries too hard to capture both boys' and girls' hearts, alternating between Godzilla-style antics one minute and My Little Pony the next, ultimately impressing neither of the two young sexes. Pseudo-empowering lyrics ("Born to be a winner / Born to be a champion / Born to be the very best") are best left forgotten; it's claptrap like this that gets boys beaten up at recess. And the film's efforts to be cute fail, too: listening to endless burbling baby noises and shrill, munchkin giggles of the characters is like sitting through a 80-minute Huggies ad.

Pokémon 4 Ever does have two things going for it: the bizarre Japanimation/digital combo is so absurd it actually works, if only in a pass-the-spliff kind of way. And the villains, a malevolent girl-boy duo called Team Rocket, have some of the best lines in animation history; their glorious strike-a-pose narcissism will win you over to the dark side in no time.

But in the end, there ain't much to see. The question is, would your child want to anyway? Since the Yu-Gi-Oh cards craze, Pokémon may have lost its mojo on the playground circuit. Pokémon 4 Ever will take you back to those winter Sundays as a kid when you sat through reruns of Astroboy and Today's Special in French, not because you wanted to, but because there was nothing better on TV.
JEREMY PARKES